“As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious…” 1 Peter 2:4 ESV
The Christian life can easily become a list of things we think we should be doing better. Be holy. Love more deeply. Stop speaking unkindly. Hunger for God. Become more patient. Be more like Jesus. Those are good desires, but if we are not careful, Christianity can begin to feel like an exhausting self-improvement project. We try harder, fail, feel guilty, promise to do better, and then begin the cycle again.
Peter points us in another direction. In 1 Peter 2:4, he describes believers as people who are continually “coming to” Christ. That language matters. Peter is not telling us to stand at a distance from Jesus and somehow manufacture His character within ourselves. Christian growth begins and continues through relationship with Christ. We keep returning to Him, listening to Him, receiving from Him, and allowing His life to shape ours.
As we remain near Jesus, His character gradually becomes more recognizable in us. His mercy begins shaping our mercy. His patience slows our anger. His truth exposes what is false in us. His generosity confronts our selfishness, and His love stretches our capacity to love others. This growth is not instant, and it is not without struggle, but it is real.
Peter then says that believers are “being built up as a spiritual house” (1 Peter 2:5). Notice the language: being built. God is the builder. Peter does not say, “Build yourself into something worthy of God.” He describes a life in which we keep coming to Christ while God continues His work in us.
That does not mean Christian growth requires no obedience or participation. Peter calls believers to holiness, love, truthfulness, and changed lives. But these things are not an entrance exam for God’s family. They are the growing family resemblance of people who already belong to Him.
Christian holiness, then, is not merely imitation from a distance. It is resemblance born from relationship. The goal is not to become an impressive Christian. The goal is to remain so close to Christ that His life increasingly becomes visible in ours.
When we become discouraged with our spiritual progress, the most important question may not be, “Why am I not doing better?” A better question may be, “Am I still coming to Jesus?” We come to Christ, and God keeps building.
